Throughout our lives we have relatives, friends, and pets that capture our love and then leave us for whatever exists in the afterlife. I have had multiple experiences with the grief of losing someone that touched my heart and going on without them. Many of these losses were sad, but others leave a deep hole that somehow feels you will not be whole again. I experienced such a loss this past month with the death of my sweet Doberman Pincher, Ti. Grief is a hard emotion to deal with on any level. We can feel grief in many different situations throughout life. Sorrow can come with the loss from a relationship breakup, friendship, or divorce. Other ways you may feel grief is from the loss of a job, health, or treasured dream. Even a move, relocation, or change in life can bring on the feelings of loss, and change can be a catalyst for grief. With each of these changes you may need to find healthy ways to manage the pain in order to let go, find new meaning, and eventually move on with your life. 

Whatever your loss, it’s personal to you, so don’t feel ashamed about how you feel, or believe it’s somehow only appropriate to grieve for certain things. If the person, animal, relationship, or situation was significant to you, it’s normal to grieve the loss you’re experiencing. Whatever the cause of your grief, though, there are healthy ways to cope with the pain that, in time, can ease your sadness and help you come to terms with your loss, find new meaning, and move on with your life. 

When you are going through the pain of loss, your emotions can be a roller coaster. The loss in the form of death means it can never be like it was before and it changes the meaning within your life. You may find your physical health affected by bouts of fatigue, weight loss or gain, aches, pains, insomnia, indecision, or poor decisions. Other emotions you may experience are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Grief is personal and can be experienced in multiple ways. There is no right or wrong way to grieve and no one can give you a road map or timetable. A few things to keep in mind about grief is it’s a natural response and can at times feel overwhelming. 

Often when dealing with loss, we can retreat from others and not look for support. It’s important to express your feelings and having support from others can help with the healing. The key is to not isolate yourself. Just having others to interact with you can help. You may want to speak with a therapist, grief counselor, turn to your spiritual faith or use activities that are comforting to you such as meditation, praying or speaking to a member of your spiritual community. 

Your physical health is more important than ever, and the stress of a loss can zap your energy and emotional reserves. Taking care of yourself—mind and body, can help you cope emotionally. Working towards getting enough sleep, exercise and good nutrition can help with the pain and lift your mood. A few steps to consider are acknowledging your pain and know grieving is a natural process. Express your feelings by writing about it in a journal. If possible, write about memories that were special to you or create a scrapbook or photo album that would give you comforting remembrances. Many times, our feelings can be intensified because our routine has been disrupted. Keeping yourself involved in a routine or activities that bring joy can aid in the grieving process.

Grief can come in many forms, and rather than moving away from our feelings, we can embrace the knowledge that we need to take the time to understand our feelings and let ourselves heal. During this healing time, embrace a mantra, statement, or slogan that you can repeat to yourself frequently. I have done this many times throughout my life, especially in times of stress, grief, and other tough situations. It can be a simple, positive affirmation you use from within. This is a statement you can say or think and use anytime as a reminder. An example of these statements may be:

· Recovery takes time. I will allow myself to heal.

· I fill my heart with love instead of loss.

· I can relax and let all the feelings flow through today.

· I look for the rainbows after the storm.

· I rest today when I need it.

· I take care of myself as I heal.

· I’m discovering new strengths within myself.

· I can let go and still feel the love. 

Whether you are going through a change in your career, relationship, or losing a loved one, you can do several things to help bring peace and comfort during a hard time. Set your fears, ego, and other internal challenges aside and let yourself heal.

My heart aches for the loss of my devoted Ti, but I know he lived a full and wonderful life and gave me much more than I ever expected. I saw a quote but don’t have the author that I believe all rescue pets owners may find some comfort. “When a rescue goes over the rainbow bridge, it’s giving up their place for another that needs it.” Although I believe Ti will always be one of a kind, I can only hope to find another that will give me as much love and joy. 

 “What we once enjoyed, we can never lose. All that we have deeply loved becomes a part of us.”  – Helen Keller.

Robin Anne Griffiths is a certified master development coach, personal trainer, behavior change consultant, and yoga instructor. She specializes as a movement instructor for senior populations. Her mission is to help with living a fuller and healthier life as you age. Her Better You Series is three unique programs tailored to help with positive changes in diet, fitness, and life direction. She works with groups and individuals on life transitions to create personal balance – physically and mentally. You can find more information at her website.